A’ja Wilson’s 2024 book Dear Black Girls: How to Be True to You became a New York Times bestseller on the strength of her acquired wisdom, her self-deprecating wit and her strong voice. It was also the fulfillment of a childhood dream to one day be a published author.
But the three-time WNBA MVP doesn’t want anyone to confuse her memoir with an instruction manual. “I didn't want people to read my book and think that it’s supposed to be these bullet points for how to be successful,” she says. “No, I do not have those answers for you because it looks different for everybody.”
Maybe so, but No. 22 still has plenty of wisdom to share, and here’s proof. A few of these quotes are lifted from the pages of Dear Black Girls, but the rest came straight from Wilson’s lips during her interview and photo shoot with Carolinian magazine in March. In honor of her jersey retirement at Colonial Life Arena in February, we narrowed our list to a true 22.
1 | “Hattie Rakes. If anyone knows me, they know how close my relationship was with my grandmother. She saw potential in me before I even thought about it. And she gave me my first strand of pearls to remind me of the confidence I need every time I step into a room. I needed someone to tell me how to do life, how to navigate it in my own way, and she did that just by handing me a strand of pearls.”
2 | “I have a tattoo on the back of my leg, and it says, ‘beautifully flawed.’ The more you’re comfortable with being uncomfortable, the easier life will be.”
3 | “Sometimes you may have to put your foot in your mouth just to remember how it tastes.” (Dear Black Girls, p. 133)
5 | “It’s still kind of captivating that I have an actual statue, and it’s like a landmark. People are like, ‘Oh, we'll just meet up at the statue.’ It’s pretty cool to be a landmark!”
6 | “I do wish time would slow down a little bit. I wish I could just kind of jump out of the moment, look in from another point of view and then go back. I feel like sometimes when you can watch from the outside, that's when you really enjoy the moment.”
7 | “You dream of having your own shoe, you dream of being a Nike model, but to actually check those things off of your goal list — ‘Oh, I accomplished this’— it’s so cool. And it’s hard to hold that secret for that long because constantly everyone's like, ‘You want a shoe?’ ‘What's the shoe?’ ‘Where’s the shoe?’ ‘We need a shoe!’”
8 | “You want to try to please all the fans and all the people, and you want to try to prove your haters wrong, and your doubters, and you want to be this person for them every day. You will lose yourself in that. That was very hard for me to grasp because I wanted everyone to like me.”
9 | “I love playing in my nails because it gives me a sense of personality on the court. It allows me to be me. I wish I could play in, like, earrings and a hairbow and be calling it a day, but because I'm so into my passion, I already know I look a mess. The least I could do is have cute nails.”
10 | “If I had a dollar for every time my parents told me to hush? Gazillionaire!”
11 | “Dyslexia was something that I struggled with because I felt like I was not normal. And when you’re growing up in your adolescent years, the one thing you want to be is normal. But it made me realize that it’s not a disability. It’s really, truly who I am. I’m gonna take that and love on that.”
12 | “My friends didn't look like me. My teachers didn’t look like me. But every day when I went to lunch, I used to get really excited standing in the line with my little plastic tray. That was like the highlight of my day because I saw my favorite lunch lady. She was the only person in the whole room who looked like me, but it was deeper than that. She would always greet me with a warm smile and say, ‘Hey A’ja, how you doing? You good? You want some mashed potatoes today?’” (Dear Black Girls, p. 17)
14 | “I feel like we went through a phase where people were too cool for school. But I think now we’re getting back to curious young players that want to know, ‘How can I get there?’ And that’s what I love. Because I was that kid. I just didn't care if people had a problem with me asking questions. Practice, training camp, anywhere, I’m like, ‘Hey, I don’t understand. Help me.’”
15 | “It dang near brought me to tears when my best friend Allisha Gray wore my shoes in the Unrivaled League in Miami because she was the first WNBA player to wear them on court — like, she’s playing in them before I am. That’s how much she means to me.”
16 | “If I had to do it all over again, I would do it the same exact way because college was just that much fun. I got to take off my basketball uniform. I got to be a real student and go to the Russell House and stay there a little too late on Chicken Finger Wednesday. I even enjoyed getting my car towed because I parked illegally. Like, you’re rushing to class — ‘I’m parking on the curb!’ Those moments really showed me, ‘Hey, I'm still a college kid.’ I loved it.”
17 | “Coach Staley always stood on business because your team is a reflection of you as a coach. If she was scatterbrained, we were gonna be scatterbrained to the max. She always kept an even keel, which allowed us to do that in our locker room. And when you saw us on court, you saw a reflection of her.”
18 | “GIRLS ALL ACROSS THE WORLD. THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. LISTEN TO ME. ALWAYS MEASURE YOUR DRESS SITTING DOWN. ALWAYS. MEASURE. IT. SITTING. DOWN.” (Dear Black Girls, p. 128)
20 | “When I think about giving people their flowers and their superhero capes, it’s not just the bigwigs. It’s the ones that come to work every single day, that open up that gym early in the morning for you or drive you late at night when you're trying to go somewhere. Those are the real heroes.”
21 | “Don’t grab a wand, grab a helmet.” (Dear Black Girls, p. 166)
22 | “Life is good. It’s gonna sound cliche, but the people around me are healthy, and they’re able to be in moments with me. That is what’s making this moment so happy, because I can share it with my parents, with my friends, with my brother, with my godson. Those are the moments that I hold on to the most.”
